Where would I be? I'd be a Warrior, a Warrior

First, lets do the numbers ( it's reverse of how NPR does it, but this isn't NPR).

Some stats, we're 8.3% of the way through the year and we've hit roughly 14% of the bars on our list already. This is good news, as free weekends will be few and far between as the days begin to warm up this spring and summer. I doubt we'll have back-to-back Saturdays with 8 bars each again this year. Concerts, weddings, races, vacations and common sense will start getting in the way. We'd like to thank those of you who have helped us so far along the way: both of my brothers - for their encouragement and suggestions; Derek - who acts as our unpaid consultant; Hall - for always managing to stay classy; Annie - for not telling us that this is a ridiculous idea.

As promised -- the January Leaderboard!

We have a four way tie for 3rd place -- visiting all of 6 bars with us...Selfy, Isler, Costello & Chenoweth! Congrats fellas. You will get complementary EBONY matchbooks. They're in the mail, probably lost. Call your post office to check up on 'em.

Coming in second place, with an impressive showing of 10 bars and already the clubhouse leader with multiple entries into the EmptyBlogOfNothing Quote Hall of Fame...Hall! Way to go Halljams. Best of luck in the Boston Marathon if you manage to keep this pace up.

No big surprise on the winner here if you've been following our trials and tribulations...but it's a huge shock to us considering we didn't even know this guy until after we had visited our first bar of the year. Coming in with a grand total of 13 bars (would've been 14 if he had spent more time at Rose's)...Internet Celebrity Baumer! I'm not making this up when I say the monthly superfan will probably end up with an EmptyBlogOfNothing t-shirt once I get them made. The rest of you will have to pay.

So there you go...the gauntlet has been thrown. If you want the spoils of February start showing up.

And finally, a plea.

We'd like to think that during these times of economic hardship our mission at EBONY is acting as a local micro-economic stimulus package, however minute it might be. We're doing what we can with our expendable income to pump it back into our local surroundings, recirculating the monetary funds to support those who provide us with entertainment and liver damage. It's important that we, as Americans, support our local watering holes -- even if you do have 170 of them. If your streetcorner tavern shuts it's doors the battle will surely be lost, surrendered to the evil forces of corruption and all that is wrong with the world. Now, not every bar I enter is going to agree completely with me, but that's what the free market is for. Through diversity we achieve great things, our differences will unite us. There are enough of us here to drink the available spirits, and there are enough different bars to house all of us. So to you -- the preps & punks, young & old, gay & straight, country & western, alkies & winos, cubs & sox, the carnivores & herbivores, the bluetools, the young professionals, the unemployed, the underemployed, hooligans & beatniks, club kids, pool sharks, and karaoke stars -- venture out of your homes, don't drink in solitude by the fireplace! The cold bleakness of winter cannot be battled alone -- it must be fought with your comrades. Do not go softly into the gray recession, we must fight it together side by side, barstool by barstool, pint to pint! Raise your glasses and sing together -- we shall overcome! We, the denizens of the night, the drinkers of the day, the champions of the club! The Masters of Consumption and Double-Shots for Everyone! Forty-thousand, counting affiliates, and twenty-thousand more, not organized, but ready to drink: 60,000 soldiers! CAN YOU DIG IT???!!!

We are still here! Today, let us send a message to that army. Tonight, let us shake this cave. Tonight, let us tremble these halls of earth, steel, and stone, let us be heard from red core to black sky. Tonight, let us make them remember, THIS IS ZION AND WE ARE NOT AFRAID!

Sorry...got a little carried away there. Drink responsibly and make sure you can walk home. Shake that cave.

make it rain!

For knocking only 6 bars off the list yesterday, this was probably the most Kyle and I have had to drink for an EBONY event, so needless to say today was a pretty lazy day. Official welcomes go out to Annie, Lazicki, BSwerve and Chenoweth for making it out with us. I'm only including these four as they made it out to at least 2 bars with us yesterday. Soon enough we'll have a ranking system up on the blog for who has made it to the most bars with us. Baumer, don't worry, you're easily in the lead at 13. When telling Hall this, he said "Baumer will be writing the blog by October." As for other top quotes of the day, these were in the notebook (others were taken down, but I'm embarrassed to post them on the internet):

"Where do you think we are, Wicker Park? We don't serve PBR around here." - bartender at Redmond's, probably my least favorite bar in the city

"For having 20 beers on tap, they have one of the worst selections ever." - Chenoweth

"....Silverado!" - Hall

"It's a defect, not a disease."

"I want hetero sex."

Best (and only) ChaCha response of the day: "The Rolling Stones song "Play With Fire" is that song that is beautifully done in Darjeeling Limited."

Best Text Response: "Tell Hall to quit his whining." - Holland

8 down, 160 to go

this is the midnight abridged version. we called our partner in crime in Hall to meet us at the Schoolyard Tap for the inaugural drink. after a packed house of pub crawlers we ditched this popsicle stand and ran into Baum and his buddy and proceeded to knock a couple bars out - Southport Lanes, Lange's, and our always favorite Newport Bar & Grill (minus Ugly Betty to Hall's avail). to our surprise, the pub crawlers seemed to follow us (including an old man who smelled like sausages), so we had to ditch that route and hit up one of our favorite chill places in the Gingerman. as usual, the place was dead, but with an amazing set of LCD Soundsystem, Ryan Adams (Hall's gay lover), and the Shout Out Louds on the Juke-box. Baumer was getting bored, so headed out after a Newcastle and sadly went to Casey Morans (we had to go at somepoint). at this point we needed to ditch the Wrigleyville vibe, so we tried our best and crossed the street to the Irish Oak. after an hour of waiting for the magical wings and downing Carlsburg, we headed for our final destination of the Darkhorse. here we watched Kyle watch his Colts blow a lead late in the 4th quarter and drown his sorrows in a couple Miller Lites and quote, "Let's gets surly right now and go dancing!". Hall and I thought Kyle was going to break some guys head, so in a wise decision, we decided to bail and call it a night. overall, not bad for the inaugural evening - 8 bars down and plenty to go.