Maybe if you gave me some positive reinforcement I would play better

February is under way kids and EBONY had a productive week. It was a typical Saturday (aside from the unseasonably warm day) of a long run in the morning followed by a lazy early-afternoon of drinking Intelligentsia, having a bowl of cereal and watching the original 90210 on the Soap Channel. 3:30 rolls around and we meet Baumer, Holland, Holland's buddy from Boston (formally know as the Diddler), BSwerve and Adam at Paddy Long's. Based on the facade we assumed it would be an Irish bar, but there is a definite German twist to it with the selection of beers and the Oompa band going on at 5. I have a Cooper's and a London Pride and am entertained by Adam's coaster flip trick (see the vid on our FB fan page). We also learn that Adam's goal as a child was to be a magician. Some how he ended up at Blue Cross though. Bravo Adam, bravo. Chenoweth and Beth show up at the 11th hour and we take off.

Next stop was planned to be Uncle Fatty's. Uncle Fatty's is one of those bars for some reason you hate since the first time you see it (we also feel this way about Prost). But the bar wasn't open yet and we move on to Vaughn's. BSwerve says Vaughn's is a hidden gem, but we beg to differ. We are at Vaughn's briefly, the only memorable portion of it was the two huskies greeting us at the bar when we walk in. And by huskies we mean the dog, not those with a weight issue. We have one drink there and try to go Uncle Fatty's again. But of course UF is not destined for us and we end up at Soprano's. Soprano's is mostly an upscale Italian restaurant but there is a small bar to the side. We are easily the loudest people in the joint, and this includes the large kids party in the restaurant. After a having a drink there and discussing the religious undertones in The Wrestler we try Fatty's one last time. Apparently the third time is indeed the charm and we enter the 'Rum Resort.' The only redeeming factor of this bar is the two courts of bags inside of it, and I hate playing bags. Of course Kyle and I absolutely dominate and go 4-0, this includes coming back from being down 12-0 to Chenoweth and Beth and take home the victory. Each game was met with a friendly bet of a round of drinks, so we leave the bar with 1 free round and have 3 more to come.

The conclusion of the evening comes at Matilda. We planned on closing the night here as the FF party was going off at 6:30. We show up un-fashionably late and are greeted by many of our closest friends (too many to mention, sorry guys, maybe you should have made an effort to meet us out earlier). We each get a free drink ticket from Mark and the 3 that are owed to us from playing bags and the evening escalates. Kyle is full-blown on the surly bus and provides never ending entertainment for the crowd. I make the amazing decision to go to bed at 9:30 and feel great the next morning, Kyle can't say the same.

Where would I be? I'd be a Warrior, a Warrior

First, lets do the numbers ( it's reverse of how NPR does it, but this isn't NPR).

Some stats, we're 8.3% of the way through the year and we've hit roughly 14% of the bars on our list already. This is good news, as free weekends will be few and far between as the days begin to warm up this spring and summer. I doubt we'll have back-to-back Saturdays with 8 bars each again this year. Concerts, weddings, races, vacations and common sense will start getting in the way. We'd like to thank those of you who have helped us so far along the way: both of my brothers - for their encouragement and suggestions; Derek - who acts as our unpaid consultant; Hall - for always managing to stay classy; Annie - for not telling us that this is a ridiculous idea.

As promised -- the January Leaderboard!

We have a four way tie for 3rd place -- visiting all of 6 bars with us...Selfy, Isler, Costello & Chenoweth! Congrats fellas. You will get complementary EBONY matchbooks. They're in the mail, probably lost. Call your post office to check up on 'em.

Coming in second place, with an impressive showing of 10 bars and already the clubhouse leader with multiple entries into the EmptyBlogOfNothing Quote Hall of Fame...Hall! Way to go Halljams. Best of luck in the Boston Marathon if you manage to keep this pace up.

No big surprise on the winner here if you've been following our trials and tribulations...but it's a huge shock to us considering we didn't even know this guy until after we had visited our first bar of the year. Coming in with a grand total of 13 bars (would've been 14 if he had spent more time at Rose's)...Internet Celebrity Baumer! I'm not making this up when I say the monthly superfan will probably end up with an EmptyBlogOfNothing t-shirt once I get them made. The rest of you will have to pay.

So there you go...the gauntlet has been thrown. If you want the spoils of February start showing up.

And finally, a plea.

We'd like to think that during these times of economic hardship our mission at EBONY is acting as a local micro-economic stimulus package, however minute it might be. We're doing what we can with our expendable income to pump it back into our local surroundings, recirculating the monetary funds to support those who provide us with entertainment and liver damage. It's important that we, as Americans, support our local watering holes -- even if you do have 170 of them. If your streetcorner tavern shuts it's doors the battle will surely be lost, surrendered to the evil forces of corruption and all that is wrong with the world. Now, not every bar I enter is going to agree completely with me, but that's what the free market is for. Through diversity we achieve great things, our differences will unite us. There are enough of us here to drink the available spirits, and there are enough different bars to house all of us. So to you -- the preps & punks, young & old, gay & straight, country & western, alkies & winos, cubs & sox, the carnivores & herbivores, the bluetools, the young professionals, the unemployed, the underemployed, hooligans & beatniks, club kids, pool sharks, and karaoke stars -- venture out of your homes, don't drink in solitude by the fireplace! The cold bleakness of winter cannot be battled alone -- it must be fought with your comrades. Do not go softly into the gray recession, we must fight it together side by side, barstool by barstool, pint to pint! Raise your glasses and sing together -- we shall overcome! We, the denizens of the night, the drinkers of the day, the champions of the club! The Masters of Consumption and Double-Shots for Everyone! Forty-thousand, counting affiliates, and twenty-thousand more, not organized, but ready to drink: 60,000 soldiers! CAN YOU DIG IT???!!!

We are still here! Today, let us send a message to that army. Tonight, let us shake this cave. Tonight, let us tremble these halls of earth, steel, and stone, let us be heard from red core to black sky. Tonight, let us make them remember, THIS IS ZION AND WE ARE NOT AFRAID!

Sorry...got a little carried away there. Drink responsibly and make sure you can walk home. Shake that cave.

make it rain!

For knocking only 6 bars off the list yesterday, this was probably the most Kyle and I have had to drink for an EBONY event, so needless to say today was a pretty lazy day. Official welcomes go out to Annie, Lazicki, BSwerve and Chenoweth for making it out with us. I'm only including these four as they made it out to at least 2 bars with us yesterday. Soon enough we'll have a ranking system up on the blog for who has made it to the most bars with us. Baumer, don't worry, you're easily in the lead at 13. When telling Hall this, he said "Baumer will be writing the blog by October." As for other top quotes of the day, these were in the notebook (others were taken down, but I'm embarrassed to post them on the internet):

"Where do you think we are, Wicker Park? We don't serve PBR around here." - bartender at Redmond's, probably my least favorite bar in the city

"For having 20 beers on tap, they have one of the worst selections ever." - Chenoweth

"....Silverado!" - Hall

"It's a defect, not a disease."

"I want hetero sex."

Best (and only) ChaCha response of the day: "The Rolling Stones song "Play With Fire" is that song that is beautifully done in Darjeeling Limited."

Best Text Response: "Tell Hall to quit his whining." - Holland