March: BMW Man

The month of March is officially in the books, and EBONY is one stop closer to accomplishing our resolution. We took down 18 bars last month to bring our grand total for the year to 66. According to our most recent count for bars in play, we have 111 left to conquer. That’s puts us at a completion rate of 37% and we have only finished the first quarter.

First lets get to the leaderboard of the friends who joined us through our documented mayhem. Chuck, you took the gold medal this month for surviving 7 bars with us. Selfy and Malmo, you guys tie for the silver at 5. Look for EBONY t-shirts in the mail (you think we’re kidding?) and wear them with pride. It’s also nice to see all former 907 members on the podium – Hercules would be proud. Overall for the year, the legendary Baumer is still setting that pace at 18 bars, even though he has been completely MIA for a good 6 weeks now – dude wake up! Adam has made a big push lately and comes in at second with 12 bars. Pulling up the next three slots are Selfy at 11 and Chenoweth and Hall tied at 10. Hall, I’m not going to lie, we are extremely disappointed in your string of absences lately, get your shit together; you don’t turn 30 for another 3 weeks.

March was quite exciting, we experience memorable evenings that included election parties, St. Patrick’s Day, happy hours, karaoke, a dog named Potato, cougar hunting by our companions, the NCAA tournament, a 907 reunion and of course the Beer Olympics. Thanks for the memories guys. As far as the bars we visited this month, I would have to say we had the most fun at Jakes (and had the coolest bartenders), Goose Island, Trader Todd’s and AliveOne. The worst memories of my month go to Big City (Shitty) Tap, Parrots and Fearon’s – you guys suck. The award for the best new bar for us goes to Patsy’s Place and Wellington’s. We will be back sometime. I would have to say, the 2 best new beers I had this month were the Bell’s Hop Slam (an A+ rating on BeerAdvocate.com) and the Goose Island Stimulus. Cheers for giving us a delicious brew to get us drunk.

We would of course have to thank all our readers out there. Since we started handing out business cards, our hits per day have been through the roof. A special shout out goes to Martineu, your efforts at being the head of our street team has grown us leaps and bounds. If you haven’t received your EBONY business card lately, that means you are being lame and are not hanging out with us, get your act together! I would have to say our most interesting hit has come from the US House of Representatives. Fuck yeah! That got me thinking, who are the 5 congressmen I would most want to get drunk with, and I came up with this list:
-Virginia Foxx, North Carolina 5th District – with a name like that, you better be hot
-Thaddeus McCotter, Michigan 11th District – once again, another dope name
-Ron Paul, Texas 14th District – dude, how can you not want to get hammered with this guy?
-Harry Treasure, New Mexico 2nd District – I bet you do
-Maxine Waters, California 30th District – if you’re on the Bill Maher show twice a month, you got to be pretty badass

For those of you around this Saturday, come join us out. Eventually we'll be hitting the Metro for The Faint and Ladytron show, but will be partaking in the ritual before that.