I Was Born Into Self-Actualization

Summertime arrived this week and it brought back the return of Thursday-night EBONY bar hopping. Recent weekend outings have seemed quite like a chore when it comes to crossing bars off the list, our Thursday evening reminded us of the reason we started this journey in the first place -- tossing back a few with our good friends and broadening horizons in the process.

Dinner was at Estrella Negra on Fullerton (definitely outside the radius). The food is great, the decor is terrific, the prices are reasonable (especially after they got rid of the $5 corking fee), the music selection was stellar, the service friendly. My one complaint? We could've ordered 5 more entrees and still ended up hungry. Four six-packs were downed by the collection of Broseph, Chuckles, Selfy, Rick and myself.
Joe gave us a quick rundown of the obstacles in his upcoming event, Warrior Dash, and it sounds positively insane. Good work, Red Frog Events Crew.

Thanks to the mercury rising, we decided to visit what is probably (shhhh!!!) THE BEST BEER GARDEN IN CHICAGO. Cody's (#95), is a neighborhood bar tucked away in the SW direction of Belmont and Ashland. Swinging saloon doors, laid back and unpretentious atmosphere, pool tables, a quality jukebox, characters drinking at the bar. At Cody's you no longer feel like you're in the city, you seem to be transported to the party at that one friend's house who lives just beyond where the suburbs turn into the wooded country. He has outdoor darts, a giant grill, horseshoes, bags, and the kind of weather-worn furniture you get from never taking things inside. The people he invited over that you don't yet know could wind up being your friends for life, or they could give you stories you'll never forget. All thats missing is a bonfire, and you think you could sit here in the warm weather all night drinking cold beers, looking at the stars, and laughing with your friends. Only you're in the city, there are no stars, and the frequent sirens flying down Belmont or Ashland continually disrupt your peace. Selfy and Joe narrowly (well...maybe soundly) defeated Rick and I at darts. Adam showed up since he now lives 30 seconds away from here.

So enough with my love letter to Cody's. Joe had never been to The Pony Inn, and we have continually talked this place up for it's preponderance of very attractive women. The 4 of us (leaving Adam at Cody's...) walk into TPI, and apparently the secret is out. There are 3 females here, and two of them are employees. The rest of the bar, like the other 30 people, obviously have heard the same things about this place. So we left before ordering anything. Kick, Push, Kick, Push, Kick, Push, Coast...

The plan was to walk down to The Lincoln Tap Room, but we notice Grand River, #96, before we get there. Grand River was completely empty save for our lovely waitress and the guy we assumed she was with at the end of the bar. After serving us our drinks, tolerating our stories about why we're at the Grand River -- and paying more attention to us than she needed to -- she takes off for the night. The guy at the end of the was her boss, presumably that's the extent of their relationship. Nothing much else to report from here. Grand River would probably be a good place to hang out with friends and feel like you have the place to yourself even when there's a crowd around.

Next up, my second trip there in a month, but first for an official EBONY event, The Lincoln Tap Room, #97. I came here last month with my brother and his friend Ricky prior to catching Dent May at Schubas. During that visit I put some cash into the jukebox and our talkative bartender vetoed my last choice, the YYY's "Honeybear". F that. He did at least pour us a shot of Powers Whiskey, which is pretty damn good. This time around the jukebox wouldn't even accept my money. Our bartender on the second visit was playing his ipod, and he offered to take requests due to the Jukebox FAIL. He didn't have anything I was looking to hear, we settled on Iggy Pop. We talked to him about the blog, he thought it was pretty awesome and wished us luck in our journey. The Lincoln Tap Room is a roomy place, and I had previously thought about making it the last place for EBONY to visit this year because it'd be good for a huge party to wrap things up. Guess we'll find somewhere else since we've now crossed it off the list.
At this point Joe and Jason took off in favor of sleep, and Rick and I started our usual drunken Thursday night decision making of "ok, which gay bar should we go cross of the list?"
Berlin was the second of two places we would visit for less than 30 seconds on this night. Entering the darkened front door we were confronted with a cover charge of $10. Exiting the darkened front door we declined to pay a cover charge of $10.

Which meant our fourth and final stop of the night would be the 930 Lounge, #98. The 930 Lounge is really just part of the Clarke's on Belmont, it's the half of it that has a bar. We've been here several times prior this year, but not for the purpose of drinking. Clarke's serves both breakfast and lunch. After many of our Saturday morning OMTC long runs we are in disagreement about whether it's time for lunch (kyle) or breakfast (rick). Clarke's is the answer. There's really nothing else to write about our trip there this evening, The 930 was pretty uneventful.

A recommendation --
Following the vein of AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com, FML.com, textsfromlastnight.com, etc, we bring you two more time wasters from the wonderful place called the internets:
Emails From An Asshole
My Life Is Average

Early Adapters (those of you who may be reading this as soon as I've published it), we'll probably start off this evening's bar-hopping at Cooper's on Belmont. They have an outdoor patio.

Keep your heart, 3 stacks, keep your heart

Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)

A day full of torrential downpours and we decide to knock off a handful of the neighborhood bars hidden on streetcorners to the West of our apartment. First stop, Will's Northwoods Inn. We've been there once before, and the guy we played pool with on our first visit was also present for the second one. He doesn't remember us, probably because he lives there and the memories bleed together when they're all the same. If you've seen the How I Met Your Mother episode with the Minnesota Bar, well that's pretty much what this joint is, except for Wisconsin. They've got a giant fishtank in the front window and whoever decorated the place is a fan of taxidermy...this is clearly a bar with character. Hearing MGMT songs was a little weird considering the locale.

We order a couple of Broken Arrows, realize this is the 3rd bar we've been to this year that had a dog walking around inside, and wait for former 907 member Malmo to drive down from the 'burbs. We're glad he joined us, he's got a handful of timely quotes making the entry this week.

Next up...we thought we were headed to Witt's but we weren't sure exactly where it was, so we end up at Wellington instead. They've got shuffleboard in here and we planned on saving this bar for later, but oh well. Burgers are on special for $1, Rick and I each had 3.
Malmo only had one because on his ride down he had a double filet-o-fish, large fries, 2 apple pies, and a Shamrock Shake...Disgusting.
We had five beers and seven burgers, our total bill was $31...Amazing. (Jason: "and they weren't even Coors!")

The table next to us brought their own 2 liter of coke and were mixing it with the Jack they were ordering...Strange.
Any bar experience that includes Guinness and Biz Markie can't be a bad one. I schooled Rick and Jason on the correct order for telling the various animal walks into a bar jokes (ftr, it's Horse, Grasshopper, Bear, Parrot, Whale).

Then we head over to Fearon's for a larger "former members of the 907 reunion" -- Leroy, Malmo, Rick & Kyle. According to Jason, "it smells like meat & potatoes in here". I think our waitress was physically incapable of smiling. We tested this theory by being as witty and clever as possible, results weren't entirely clear.

Retired Steeplechasers

Heading north we cross Belly's off the list. This was the first time I'd gone to Belly's by my own choosing...previous visits here were the result of girls. It's completely empty, we throw darts. I killed the opposition with a toss of Triple 19, 20 and Double Bullseye to win the game.

Next up is a quick visit to Fizz and a round of Goose Island Matildas. We would soon pay the consequences for drinking such a strong beer this late in the game.


Second to last stop, we return to the Pony Inn because we enjoyed it so much last time. It's crowded again, and the 907 reunion grows with the arrival of Selfy and professional couch-surfer Tiede. Worlds collide as one of my coworkers is here and Rick tells her all about the EmptyBlogOfNothing. A Kyle divided against himself cannot stand!

Last stop...Bungalow Lounge. Craig orders a pineapple cocktail, as if we needed another reason to make fun of him.

ChaCha response of the evening: After I used ROFLCOPTER in a sentence Rick and Jason wanted to know what the heck that was. Thanks to ChaCha for providing us with the origin (ROFLCOPTER means you are laughing so hard that you start to spin in your chair). Maybe next week we'll cover LOLLERSKATES.

Sleep, Sleep, Sleep In Your Tomb

Short Friday night outing -- walking to the far western point on our radius map to hit up The Pony Inn before taking in The Mae Shi @ the Beat Kitchen. Neither were quite what we expected, both were excellent.
From the outside I expected the Pony to have more of a loungey feel, dark lights, sort of lit up like Innjoy is. It is not like that. Clean lines, light hardwood furnishings from the windows to the walls, small flatscreens at every table, attractive waitresses and an incredibly good looking clientele. The food wasn't bad, the beer wasn't expensive (Leinenkugel's Bock was on special for $3...I should've been drinking those). As we ate our late dinner the place continued to fill up with groups of girls that overshadow those you would find in just about every other bar. Good work, Pony Inn. I do wish our waitress had more of a natural tan though. Sorry girl.

Heading further west on Belmont we hit up the Beat Kitchen and arrive just before Kid Static's set. 2 kids rapping, having fun. I wouldn't say they're a great act, or maybe even a good act, but they're having a good time. The Mae Shi (listen to their hit "Run To Your Grave" on the right here --->)...well they're difficult to describe. The singer seems to be fronting a different band than the one he's on stage with. They choose to defy conventions...no two songs will sound alike, but you can still hear the common signature of the band in each of them. Chanting sing alongs are followed by musical opuses (opii?), followed by screamo freakouts. And it's all over before you know it. Good show, they're excellent live, go see them.

Tracks added for Feb:
2 from The Mae Shi
1 from Los Campesinos & Titus Andronicus (seeing them Sat night)
1 from Goldfrapp because it's awesome
Get It Up from The Very Best...this song will probably be on every mix cd I make for the next 6 months