It's the fever that keeps you happily delerious, like that first inhalation of too much barbecue sauce. Things that are green return to the world and no longer exist in conversation only as an ethos. The ballparks open up, the daylight hours stretch and for several weeks the powerful sunlight blinds those of us with east/west workday commutes.Eventually the street festivals appear, outdoor concerts and day drinking satiates our weekend appetites. The workday confinement we embraced through the harshest months quickly turns into a workday confinement we despise and find ever increasing reasons to avoid.
Spring springs, all seems right with the world, and the Chicago lakefront begins its crowded ascent towards the late summer oppressive critical mass of the Air & Water Show. Obviously you can tell I've already started attending baseball games this season...
Today while spending a ridiculous amount of time driving around the suburbs trying to serve my second vice (fast food), a handful of individuals reminded me of those things that winter shields us from...most notably: The Crazies.
Warm weather brings the loonies out of the woodwork. Crime escalates along with the mercury. As the heat climbs, the shortness of one's fuse shrinks. I remind anyone who will listen that "I hate people but I love gatherings" (with a nod to Dante Hicks and Randall Graves).
I pulled up to Taco Bell today, this being after I drove past one costumed Statue of Liberty (outside of the Tax joint on Ogden) and two costumed easter bunnies (one outside of Burger King, the other outside of Connie's Pizza)...anyway I pull up to Taco Bell and there's a nutcase of a woman wildly waving her arms around, giving the finger to four drivers (of which I was one), and generally disrupting traffic. She yelled at me that I came to close to hitting her -- 5 feet --, to which I rolled down my window and replied, "I can't park in the fucking street, what the hell are you doing?" Someone taking the time to respond seemed to create alarm and she accidentally dropped her cigarette, increasing her rage at the world. Before I lost sight of Lady Wrath she had kicked the side of another car and flicked off three more drivers.
I could only think that were it another 15 degrees colder out today the world would've been spared encountering this devilwoman. Maybe this is why Canada seems so tame and violent crime-free?
Other benefits of the cold? It burns fat much faster. If the overweight memebers of American Society (I suppose that's, like, most of you now, right?) kept their heaters set 10 degrees cooler through the wintertime imagine how much healthier we'd be as a country.
So while I truly cherish the crowded warm summer in my city of love, I'll be missing the quiet solitude and peaceful serenity of the cold introverted winter. Time marches on, and until Rick and I finish building our own Primer machines we have no choice but to embrace it.
Clearly I'm not writing about bars in this post because we haven't actually visited any within a mile of home since late last Saturday night/Sunday morning. Beer Related: Binny's now sells these 650ml bottles of Goose Island Reserve Brews (Matilda, Sofia, etc) and I'm looking forward to tackling these few purchases I've made over the weekend while watching golf & baseball.
Happy religious holiday to any of you readers that follow that stuff. Hope everyone has a great and wonderful weekend.
